Sunday, 5 May 2013

Wake~Up Call

Today, 3 July, I was clearing up the draft posts I had written and decided that I would put this one where it belongs ... published.  I often read blogs and wonder if people only write about the nice stuff that happens in their lives and they then look like these perfect people who have no problems and issues.  I decided, and it was even more cemented when I got that horrible 'anonymous' comment that, that I would be honest and tell of things that happen that are great and things that are not so great ... and this is one of the not so great ones ...

5 May 2013 ... It is amazing how often we mozey along through life doing just enough to get by and then suddenly life jumps up and hits us against the head.  I have been feeling like the universe has been sending me many messages lately and I have REALLY started to listen to them.

This afternoon there was an explosion which has REALLY woken me up ... Some background:
  • My husband and I grew up in two very different homes.  In our home we had animals who were allowed to visit inside, sleep on the bed (if the owner wanted that ~ and how I LOVED having my poodle on the bed with me!!!) and sit by your feet. 
  • Richard's idea of animals is TOTALLY different ~ Animals need to be outside.  This afternoon when he got home our dog, Bandit, was lying under the kitchen table ~ now it is stinking hot today and his feet are really sore after running around the pool yesterday while the kids were swimming.  He made a comment to my Mom about the dog not needing to be inside and stomped into the bedroom to change.  Something inside me just popped and I went into the bedroom and a shouting match ensued (usually it is me doing the shouting and Richard keeping quiet but tonight it was him doing most of the shouting) ... now one thing we, as a couple, are not know for is shouting at each other but I guess this one was needed.
Something my precious husband said to me hit home like a ton of bricks ... He said "Everything must be done your way, you have so many rules and you've been in a bad mood for 10 years" ... OUCH!!!!! That really hit where it counts and it hurts.  I have been feeling like things are out of control, as I have written on my blog before, and now I need to sit down with myself and really look at what it is that I am doing to myself, my family and my other relationships!
  1. I know that I am controlling
  2. I know that I really want things my way (even though I try and keep this under control ... there's that control thing again!!!)
  3. The bad mood thing ... oooooops!!! Was not aware that this was how he felt so I guess I need to have some more fun and laugh a bit more ~ Not sure when I lost my laugher but I do know that I take things far too seriously and don't laugh every day.
So the challenge to self is ... let go a little and laugh a lot!!!

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