Omgekrap ...

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling only what I can describe as "Omgekrap".  I overslept, my hair was all over the place (which meant I had to wash it AGAIN) and I just felt yuck!  Oh yes, it's the anniversary of my Dad's death ~ I CANNOT believe that he has been gone for 7 years already and I miss him.  Unfortunately we did not have a wonderful relationship ~ in part thanks to my Mom poisoning me against him, which I have had to come to terms with as an adult and am making peace with it.  One thing that I am thankful for is that I got to see him 25 hours before he died and got to tell him that I love him, and he heard me ~ of that I am sure.  I ask him daily to forgive me for believing what my mother had to say about him and not being brave enough to challenge her opinions of his feelings towards me.  Funny how when you eventually grow up you become brave enough to think about these things and figure some stuff out for yourself!!!

When we were on the platform at the station on the day we went to Magaliesburg I was standing and looking at the engine and thinking about my Dad and how much he loved steam trains, liquorice allsorts and I how much he must have loved us girls (and how he would be shouting at the guys who run the engine as it was not clean at all ~ my Dad ran a tight ship when he was a train driver!).  I always wonder how different his life would have been should he have married a person who treasured him and who gave him a 'safe place to fall'.  My Dad had a heart of gold and would always drop what he was doing to help someone in need.

Wendy took a beautiful photo of me and I decided that that was the photo to use on a page about my Dad.  I unfortunately left the journalling at home so I still have to finish that part of the page.  Here is a photo that Ali took at our retreat of my favourite page done on the weekend.   

We had our sisters dinner last night and it was filled with fun and laughter.  We had time to reminisce and drink a toast to Nick York ~ Daddy, I will love you forever and one day when I get to heaven we will have a good chat.